Human beings are the only animal on the planet that follow bad leadership – no other animal does. Our politicians are terrible, but yet allowed to dictate what we do. Our bosses may be bad, but we still follow. If the leader of a wolf pack can’t do the job, then they are replaced.
Guess what, if you can’t fulfill the proper leadership role that the dog needs – you will be replaced – by the dog.
Now, trainers say “don’t compare a dog to a child” – but why not?
Children need structure, they need rules and boundaries – but a child’s life cannot be about obedience. I’ve known children that lived under strict rules and regulations laid down by parents, and they rebelled – hard – doing much more damage than most realize. Children need to get out and have fun, they need friends their own ages – children to hang around with, to learn from, just to be a child. It’s part of their development. They need to learn how to be a balanced human, dogs need to learn how to be a balanced dog.
A dog needs the same thing, they need dog friends to be with, to play with, to learn the social rules from – just be a dog. People focus so much today on training obedience, but they tend to forget about relationship with the animal that they live with. And the biggest issue I see between owners and their dogs – they are in a toxic relationship.
Obedience and training don’t necessarily mean your dog is going to be well behaved.
Before anything else, I’ve always worked hard to achieve a solid relationship with my dogs, I need to trust them in order to respect them. What does respecting a dog mean to me? Letting it be a dog, expecting the species (dog) to simply be allowed to be what they are. To let the dog run around off leash without worrying if it’s going to run away – if you have a solid relationship with your dog, they aren’t going to run away from you or ignore you.
I trust my dogs 100% – and I’ve worked to gain their trust. If you can’t trust, then respect is simply impossible – and confidence cannot exist in that relationship. It’s toxic. I’m my dogs’ protector – when they need it. They know that if they get in trouble, they can come to me for help and I will step in. I’m showing my dogs that I have their back – they don’t need to have mine. What does that equate to? I’ve never owned a reactive or aggressive dog – but I have rescued many in my life with those issues.
Focus on a solid relationship based on trust and respect first – and you will be amazed at how little training the dog needs.
It’s not always about training…