The training community at large has somehow convinced dog owners that they can teach a dog how to be a dog. The most pitiful thing I hear online is “my dog doesn’t need dogs”. Or trainers standing on a road with a sign saying dogs don’t need to like every dog. We are making our dogs anti-social, then are surprised when mans best friend starts displaying anti-social behaviors.
Look at how many dog discussion sites there are online for reactivity and aggression, how many actually achieve full success? How many are defeated. Humans are proving that they cannot teach a dog how to be a dog. I work with dogs, I can’t teach a dog how to be a dog. Monty teaches them how to be a dog – I use him as a mentor. Doesn’t seem to be too much of that in the dog training world. But I’m the crazy one. Yeah, humans don’t like everyone – but humans have prejudice, dogs don’t. Why would a dog hate every member of it’s own species? Chew on that for a bit.
Bear with me…
Met a Boston Terrier a few years ago. Trainers came with treats, none could help. They are trying to reward a dog for being in shut down state. I came with my dog and nothing else. This one is on him, I’m staying out of it – I’m here to guide the owner. I walked him into the house, took the leash off – and Monty is off to investigate the house, he’s calm, he’s fearless. I sit on the couch and have a talk with the owner, ignore them. We could both see her in the crate, and she’s locked onto Monty, she’s checking him out, watching his every move. Monty is ignoring her, he won’t engage with that energy. I wouldn’t either, he won’t approach her. It took all of 5 minutes for her to come out of the crate and sniff him, and follow him around. She is fragile, and Monty is still ignoring her. He won’t engage with a dog until they are calm – then he turns around and meets them nose to nose. Told the owner to calmly let them out into the yard, leave the dog alone, don’t say a word. Out they go and we watched in the window. She’s following him all over, and he’s just doing his thing, still ignoring her. Then Monty lifted his leg to pee and walked away. She sniffed the spot – it was the funniest thing to see her lift her leg to pee – she’s learning how to be a dog from him. When Monty finally turned around and greeted her, and that was the moment she was calm – Monty is telling me that she’s calm, she trusts him. Dogs are the most honest animals on the planet, they don’t lie, they aren’t capable – dogs will always show their intention. Dogs will trust another calm and easy going dog much faster than any human, because it’s likely a human that put them there in the first place – not necessarily you, relax. You’re basically being told to decompress, give the dog time to settle in – and all the while the dog is still dealing with all that mental baggage that came with it with no way out. I think that is cruel.
We left them alone for a half hour in the back yard, check on them once in a while and they are side by side on the deck soaking up the sun. We are just talking about what she’s seeing – her dog is on the back deck relaxed, not shut down in a crate and terrified. That’s a big step in a positive direction. Time to let them back in, now it’s time for a little “Monty in the middle” if you’ll pardon the pun. Her Boston trusts Monty, she’s latched onto him, and wants to be with him. Monty is likely the first thing in that dogs life that she could trust, and that breaks my heart. Owner grabs a bag of treats and sits down, but no affection, that will come. I showed her how to get Monty to do his tricks, kisses, give paw, roll over etc. Her Boston is over in the corner watching this like a hawk, we are ignoring her. Her new friend is engaging this woman without fear. It usually doesn’t take long for the resolve to break, and it’s like they forget that they are supposed to be afraid – and I’ve seen that look too often. I told the owner – if your dog joins us, don’t talk to her, don’t touch her, give her a piece of food, and be calm. She needs to make choices. Start petting Monty, but ignore her. She will let you know if she wants affection – you will know it. This is all about the Bostons choice, the onus is on her – she needs to learn to trust, and the owner needs to be trustworthy and respectful. Don’t try to pick her up. If you adopted an abused child – you would start earning the childs trust right away. You wouldn’t put the child in a room and let them stew in their own juices for months. The faster this happens, the better for the dog.
“Stress increases production of the hormone cortisol, which is produced by the adrenal glands. Cortisol can inhibit secretion of TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) from the pituitary gland, leading to partial suppression of thyroxine, the main hormone produced by the thyroid gland,” Dr. Guandalini explains.
Read that again and let it sink in. That’s called a suppressed thyroid – hypothyroid – and long term can cause some weird and serious problems. I’m not a vet, but you don’t need to be a mechanic to drive a car.
The dog is now starting to produce endorphins, the feel good hormone. They are getting excited in a happy way now – she’s showing it, her resolve is going to break pretty quick. Endorphins can counter the stress hormone cortisol, the fight or flight hormone and it does a good job of it. CBD can greatly help in this regard – but no guarantees. Monty – whether he realizes or not – is passing the trust that he’s gained onto us. Monty trusts me 100%. It didn’t take that long for the Boston to choose to join in. There is nothing negative, it’s all positive – and it’s all her choice. She was nervous, but she was choosing to move forward – it’s all this is her choice. She’s using her trust in Monty to make the choice to overcome fear. Fear is lack of trust – think about that. The onus is on the Boston – stay there or be scared, or join Monty and get in on the fun. It was Monty trusting the owner to give him affection that allowed her to want some – but she needs to make that choice. When dogs make a choice, and understand that choice, they don’t forget it. There are so many things happening at once, so many behavioral changes. When we cooperate with a dog – I know what you want, you give me calm, and you can have it. Once the dog figures that out – that calm gets me what I want – it’s getting what they want that is the best reward of all, it’s self gratification. That’s what positive reinforcement should be.
Is the Boston cured? Nooo, don’t get me wrong – this is just the first step on the journey. This is the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Monty is passing that trust onto her owner, she’s learning to trust her owner through him. And in return, the owner needs to reflect that trust on everything. She understands what to do. If the dog reacts to something in public, don’t give food to lure it, throw the treats in the garbage. Go interact with the thing that scares her, show her you’re not afraid, but be calm. Your translating that trust to this inanimate object – let her choose to trust your judgement – your choices. Make it not a big deal. It’s all patience and time. You’re not terminating fear, you’re gaining trust and before you know it, the dog won’t need to be afraid of anything. Be social for the dog, take the lead and meet friendly people and dogs. If she’s scared, have them squat down beside you and invite her – she’s going to see that you’re not scared. Dogs want to be with those they trust, but they need that choice.
The owner chose to do this on her own, now that she understands. And I have full faith in her, she’s the type of owner that will do whatever it takes. If she had a question, we would talk. I got updates for a while, she’s happy as a clam at the outcome and it really didn’t take that long.
There was no force involved. I didn’t do anything, this was a Monty job. The Boston is the one in the drivers seat, she’s choosing not to be afraid. I’ll never understand the need for trainers to use the words “force free” – you don’t need to use force on a dog to exact change. Force can only serve to suppress, it’s makes the dog afraid to do things – and then it’s the constant threat of punishment. You just need to step back and understand what they need. I’m sorry, but most of this is due to an owner that wasn’t told to meet the dogs needs, meet the breeds needs. But you’re told to train that? We are not meeting the dogs needs – but we are punishing them for the resulting behaviors.
If you can find an easy going social dog that your dog can get along with, bring them over and leave them alone. I have told this to many people online, and so many success stories and I’m not making a penny. I’m just a concerned dog lover that loves working with dogs. What’s wrong with a dog having a best friend to lead it out of that dark space, to translate trust to the world. But instead, they are being rewarded for being in this state of mind. I haven’t done anything up to this point, I’m just a lump on the couch talking to a fellow dog owner. Monty is doing all the work, I’m sitting back watching a little miracle happen. Monty got a nice reward for a good job.
If given a choice – do you think a dog would choose to live life in fear of everything? Not trusting anything. We seriously need to rethink this “let the dog decompress” nonsense. The dogs that I’m working with don’t know they are a dog, let alone know how to act like one. “Because dogs don’t need dogs!”. Like hell they don’t. But I get chewed on for taking dogs to parks to learn how to be social with their own species.
But people are being told that we’re supposed to train this? Train what? What protocol am I supposed to use? Look past the treat and understand the animal in front of you.
They are your mirror, a reflection of you. Be the change you want in your dog.