First, some understanding. I look at dogs as intelligent, sentient beings – because that is what they are. And if you really want to understand the dog, go take a long hard look in the mirror and understand the animal that you are. Many dogs have never experienced a proper relationship with their owners. There is no trust, there is no respect and there is no confidence – therefore, there is no relationship. I am going to build a relationship with the dog, ask the dog to trust me, show the dog that I am trustworthy. Every great relationship starts out with solid 2 way trust and that includes trusting each others’ choices. Once trust is achieved, work on respect. Respecting a dog means letting it be a dog. As a result of this – confidence grows. It has to be the product of trust and respect. Trusting your dog to make choices is the hardest thing to do. That’s my job, to show the owner that the dog is capable of making the right choices.
I don’t use “positive reinforcement” or any of the other quadrants of dog training. This system was built on a lie and it’s just gotten worse and the trail of destruction left behind this system is immeasureable. The “quadrants” which include “positive reinforcement” dictates that you take away your dogs brain and it doesn’t care about your dogs ability to make a choice. “Free will is an illusion” under the quadrants – but my goal is for the dog to have “free will”. The quadrants also dictate that our dogs simply cannot learn anything without reward and punishment. These are the biggest lies ever told to dog owners. The quadrants including positive reinforcement is the biggest punishment you can inflict on a dog overall. I don’t need to speak about the protocols that come with it or the amount of punishment that dogs face needlessly.
I have no fear of dogs or animals in general. My mother raised me to respect animals, don’t fear them – but understand them. If a trainer is afraid of dogs, they simply don’t understand the animal that they chose to work with. You’re in the wrong field.
I’ll tell you honestly – dogs read people like a book. They know when you’re afraid – but they also know when you are not. Most people will run away in fear of a dog raging at the fence, the dog always wins. That becomes a conditioned response in dogs over time, it’s all they know to do – it makes them feel something. Breaking that conditioning can be hard, especially when it’s over territory – that back yard. Many dogs are wonderful outside of the back yard.
When I open that gate, I’m telling the dog here’s my intention – I’m coming into the back yard. Now show me your intention. Most of these “aggressive” dogs run away in fear. Some dogs deemed “aggressive” come to me calmly and check me out. Other deemed “aggressive” ran up to me, happy to see me. Where is the aggression? Why are we afraid of scared dogs? If I don’t open that gate, I will never get the real story. They play their hand in that moment, and it’s the only hand they have. Now I know that I’m dealing with a scared dog – not an aggressive one.
Dogs speak, but we need to understand them, we need to listen to them. Dogs communicate heavily through body language. So do we, but we don’t really notice it any more. They have a voice, but we don’t speak dog. The dog doesn’t speak your language either. What to we have in common? Body language. But you have to learn your dogs body language, the bark is only part of the communication but it says so much. Every dog has it’s quirks, little idiosyncrasies that is theirs and theirs alone. Your dog knows you better than you know you. All you really are is a catalogue of smells, body language and a bag of emotions. But damn, they love us anyway. I’m watching the dogs body language carefully, listening to the dog, trying to understand why this animal is barking at me like a maniac in his back yard. The owner is watching this through a window.
Dogs – like humans can only stay angry or scared for so long, it’s exhausting to be angry. Wait them out until they are calm – but remember your ABC’s, Always Be Calm. I can’t work with a dog in that state. Same for humans, you thought process would be degraded in that state of mind – you’re an animal too. I wait calmly til the dog calms down, when the dog finally calms, and the brain engages again, now it’s time to say hello. Let’s have a real conversation.
When I assess a dog, it’s an interview. It’s a chance for the owners to meet me, and my dog. And more importantly, it’s a chance for them to see how their dog responds to me. Many owners are terrified of me entering their back yard alone with their dog. They need to see the engagement with their own eyes.
Through all this, I know that most of these dogs have never learned to be “dog”. They learned how to be human, and that’s not fair. Human beings cannot raise a puppy to be a happy and normal adult dog. For dogs like these, I bring my dog in to be the mentor and the monkey in the middle for trust. It’s easy to tell that a dog isn’t ready to trust me. Dogs will trust and follow another dog long before they will a human being. I carry Monty in and give him the opportunity to check out the situation. If he wants to get down, then I know there won’t be a problem. If he tells me that he doesn’t want anything to do with this dog, then he goes back in the vehicle. I’m amazed at how fast Monty’s simple presence in my arms changes the game. The fear becomes curiosity in most dogs, not all. The dogs entire body language changes.
If it’s deemed there won’t be an issue, I put Monty down. He ignores the dog, and he checks out this new space. He won’t engage with negative or fearful energy, I wouldn’t in humans either. You wouldn’t engage a stranger that is acting crazy – neither will he. Usually the dog is following him around, checking what he’s doing. They learn to trust him pretty quick, because dogs are always honest. When Monty finally engages the dog and says hello, then I know the dog is calm. Eventually, Monty will reflect that trust onto me. Monty will come to me, I give him affection, he trusts me. The other dog is watching – a dog that he trusts in in this strangers lap and eventually their resolve breaks too – they come to me. This is step one in earning a dogs trust. It cannot be trained. It has to be chosen – by the dog. When a dog chooses to trust you, that’s when change happens, and it happens quickly – but that can only come from the dogs choice. Bear in mind, the owner is watching all this through the window.
At some point, I ask the owner(s) to very calmly come into the back yard. Many owners are absolutely shocked to realize their dog isn’t aggressive and I’m not bleeding like a stuck pig. It’s time to talk to the owners about many things. Number one, are they meeting the dogs needs because that is the number one cause of behavioural issues, that takes an honest conversation. It it’s deemed that they aren’t meeting the dogs needs, and they agree to start doing it, then they won’t need me. And many times, a simple assessment is all it takes – and owners change their dog on their own because now they understand the underlying problems that is causing the behaviours. They didn’t need me, they needed guidance.
If it’s deemed that the dog needs to be socialized, that is discussed as well. Number one guilty pleasure for most dog owners? To be able to take their dog to a dog park – but at the moment, they don’t believe the dog is capable. They have never seen it capable. It’s time to show them. Understand, when you watch my videos on youtube – they aren’t “how to” videos, they are “how I do things” videos. I’m recording for the owners sake – they entrusted a complete stranger they found over the internet to take their dog alone to a dog park. I take that seriously – this is why I record to a chest mount gopro. I post the entire video public if the owner agrees – so they can watch their dogs’ changes live. I want them to see that I’m not sneaking their dog into the back woods and beating it or shocking it into submission to exact change.
Generally, Monty is there with me. The dog I’m working with trusts Monty already, and having him there calms the dog. During sessions in a dog park, they will watch him being calm in a dog park, watching him calmly meet other dogs and people, learn from him, want to be with him. They are learning from my dog that they can be calm in this environment, they don’t need to be scared – because Monty isn’t scared. They follow him, They replicate him. I’m just holding the leash waiting for the dog to decide what to do next. Now is the time for the dog to start making choices – and I need to let them. I need to learn to trust them – just like they learned to trust me. If the dog can’t make choices, then I will never learn to trust them and it will be a failure. Sometimes that takes leaps of faith – and that’s exactly why I needed to learn the dogs body language.
I needed to take the time to get to know the dog and all their little quirks. The dog needs the time to get to know me. It’s that simple.
Starting out, many dogs stop when they see a dog and/or humans approaching, I stop with them. This is their choice to make, they are unsure. Many times, they stay still and let the targets approach them. Maybe they are nervous or scared but at that point, I’m waiting for them to make a choice. They can either shut down, push through it, or strke out in fear. I’m ready for any of these and if I see the dog is going to strike out, that’s when I intervene. If I feel starting out that a dog isn’t ready to meet dogs at all, i’ll take them into the woods – remember, I have their back but I don’t make a big deal out of anything.
At some point, the dog is going to choose to move forward to meet the incoming targets, and I have to let them. That’s their choice. Will it be a good choice or a bad choice – that is to be determined. Every dog is different. But at some point, they put away their fear and choose properly. They calmly meet dogs, they calmly meet people. This is what I’ve been waiting for – for them to make the right choices. Now I’m really starting to trust them – they are showing me that I can trust them. With trust comes respect – it has to. Now I can let the dog just be a dog because they have proven that they will make the right choices – now my confidence with the dog is growing fast.
Now I call the owners, ask them to watch us from a distance. Don’t interfere yet, just watch. The owners are now watching the dog lead me – they are calmly going up to dogs and people. The dog is just being a dog now – the dog isn’t scared anymore because it trusts me and I’m reflecting that trust onto the environment. I squat down and meet dogs, I meet people, I’m being social for the dog. The dog trusts me, wants to be with me, and it will always choose to join me. It’s important for owners to watch their dog being capable.
Now it’s time to bring the owners in, it’s time for them to put away all their fears, calm down and lets take a walk. They need to experience this, they need to be a part of it – it’s their dog and they will be taking over. I can take a dog for a few days, turn it into a great dog – but it’s my dog at that point. Bring that dog back to the owners – but if they don’t change, the dog will revert.
All I’ve done up to this point is build a relationship with the dog, built that trust and respect, let the dog be a dog for likely the first time in its life. Now I need to pass that off to the owners so they can finish the job without fear of what their dog is going to do. They need to finish building that relationship.
Their dog is becoming “mans best friend” – and that ladies and gentlemen is what we need to get back to.
Focus on your relationship with the dog first – then training becomes effortless. Right now, you’re putting the cart before the horse – trying to train a dog that you don’t have a solid relationship with.