Trust + respect = confidence. That’s the magical equation to a relationship with any animal – that includes human on human relationships. If trust doesn’t exist, then respect is impossible and confidence cannot exist in a relationship like that. In human terms, lack of trust equates to a toxic relationship and we all know someone in a relationship like that. It’s no different in dogs. This is why I chuckle at trainers talking about confidence building exercises – but self confidence doesn’t necessarily equate to confidence in the owner.
As an example, if a husband suspects his wife is cheating? “Trust” is now out the window. He won’t “respect” her privacy – probably watching her phone and facebook like a hawk, might follow her around etc. What happens to “confidence”? Ends up being non-existent correct? If the wife knows he doesn’t trust her, she might end up getting defensive, even aggressive (angry). Why is a dog any different in this relationship? It makes me cringe when I hear trainers claim that owners don’t need to trust the dog – but the dog needs to trust the owner. It doesn’t work that way.
Today, so many dog owners have trust issues with their dog – “I don’t trust my dog!” is the number one thing I hear. What reason has the dog given that you can’t trust it? Why doesn’t the dog get the chance to show you that it is capable? Because you’re afraid of the outcome. My job is simple, get the dog to the point where the owner can SEE that the dog is capable – that they can trust their dog to make solid choices.
Trust is universal to all animals and is both emotional and logical. Emotionally, trust – or lack thereof – can expose vulnerability in any animal and a vulnerable animal that doesn’t trust you has no reason to follow you. Let that sink in and put it in terms of reactivity. You see a reactive dog – I see a dog that doesn’t trust you or trust your judgment.
Your dog is your mirror.
I adopted Monty on October 21, 2016. Hard to believe it’s been over 4 years already – but the changes from what I adopted to what he became are simply incredible. He was able to make these changes because I treat him like a dog, he was pushed to be a dog and allowed to explore his “dogness”. As a human being, I have to admit that I cannot teach a dog how to “dog” but I can push him to do dogly things. I recognize that sniffing bum is very important, it’s the dog handshake and to this day, I always enforce the bum sniff with dogs. Excited dog sniffs Monty’s bum, and it calms down – because that’s likely what the dog wanted – and I’m giving that to him. I’m surprised at how many owners don’t know this. Calm is the other big one – a dog should be a constant reminder for people to remain calm. If you want a calm dog, focus on calm, be calm. Be the change you want in your dog. If you’re an angry person by default, and your dog is a jerk – who needs to change?
From the first night I had Monty – all I did was focus on building trust.
Socialization (much like dominance) – has been bastardized to become a dozen mickey mouse definitions. It essentially means getting the dog used to things it should be used to. Dogs at an early age should be introduced to everything – so that things don’t become a big deal in the future. Kids, cats, other dogs, ferrets, turtles etc – these are all things that Monty has met. Monty has met thousands of dogs and people everywhere – but that doesn’t make him social. The fact that he CAN meet anything anywhere and remain calm through it all? That is what makes him social.
Robert Hynes Dog Training
Serving Edmonton, Alberta and surrounding areas.
admin@roberthynesdogtraining.com